For those I haven't spoken with lately, my constant drama for the last few months has been Isaac's sleeping. It's chaotic. Getting him to sleep requires Herculean feats of physical endurance, plus the absolutely essential presence of a rocking chair. He only naps usually for 1/2 hour at a time, at which point I pick him up and rock him back to sleep to finish his nap. A GOOD day involves my rocking him to sleep about 7 or 8 times, for a total of several hours of rocking, jiggling, and ssshhhing every day. My back hurts! I'm sick of it! And it's impossible to schedule anything because I never can predict when he'll need to nap.
Last week he had a cold and barely slept AT ALL. So I barely slept AT ALL. I don't deal well with sleep deprivation. If I were a prisoner subject to torture by sleep deprivation, I'd give in immediately -- probably before the first night was over.
By the way, did I mention how much daylight savings time SUCKS? Isaac used to wake up between 6 and 7 am. Now he wakes up between 5 and 6. Mommy is NOT AWAKE at 5 am.
Things got better this week for a few days. Isaac "went down" (I used to hate that term, it reminded me of putting dogs to sleep, but it's crept irrestibly into my vocabulary) still awake, and mostly slept until his late-night feeding, then slept again till 4 or 5 am. AND, even more exciting, he seemed to be developing a serious morning nap, sleeping all by himself for 1-1/2 to 2 hours. Of course, just as I was congratulating him on these developments, it all changed.
Last night he went down ok, then proceeded to wake up 4 times between 9 and midnight. Which totally screws with my sleeping schedule. To make up for it, he didn't really wake up till around 6:30. He got lots of kisses for that. Then, his previously champion morning nap ended after...you guessed it...1/2 and hour. Aaack!
Sigh...plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose. I need to reach some Zen place of NO EXPECTATIONS about his sleep, and then I can just stop kvetching, boring my friends and relatives, and getting hysterical about his sleeping. So what if I spend five hours of my day rocking him to sleep? What better things do I have to do? So what if I miss his "drowsy window" and he gets overtired? He's gonna go to sleep eventually anyway, and it's not going to kill him. So what if I'm late for a playdate because his nap runs long? The other babies won't hold it against us.
Hmmm, the one thing I can't quite bring myself to say "so what" to is getting a decent night's sleep. That one's pretty essential to me.